Cynthia’s Story
The years 2011 and 2012 were not the easiest of times for The Portaro family. On March 30, 2011, their twenty-two year old son, was brutally murdered in a Las Vegas restaurant parking lot. If that was not enough to endure, on September 3, 2011, their 16 year-old daughter died in an ATV accident, in Brian Head, UT. The pain and agony of these losses took a toll on this entire family, especially their mother, Cynthia. Here is a glimpse of her story from her recently released book, Beyond the Unthinkable…
Late April, 2011, The doctor was shaking me to wake up while informing me he found a very large tumor in my colon, and I needed to come to his office that afternoon. My friend, Mary Jo, drove me to the medical center, and drove me to the appointment for more detailed results of the procedure. When I told her why she needed to take me her mouth dropped and said “What, what did you just say… Are you kiddin’ me???” She’s from Alabama so picture it said with a loud, strong southern drawl. Both of us still being in the state of shock, from the losses of my children, all we could say was, “God… are you kidding me?” Over, and over, again, and again.
When we arrived at his office, he was on the phone talking to someone and it was about me. I wasn’t very thrilled he was discussing my case in his office hallway for all to hear. So the appointment went like this…
Doctor… “You have a very large tumor in your descending colon. You need to make an appointment and see this group of doctors who handle these types of tumors immediately. I believe because of its size, it has to be cancerous, I have already sent your paperwork and a sample to the lab for a biopsy. It is my opinion that you should get your affairs in order, because you most likely only have six months to live.”
My heart began to beat to a different drummer, at what I would call, several pounding beats per second. My spirit woman arose as I said back to him, jumping off the table, wanting to hit something, “Listen Doc, you don’t know who you are talking to or “Whose” you are talking too. You may be a doctor but my “Physician” above is the only One that will put a number on my days… and you are not Him!!!” Mary Jo and I walked out of the office in a pissed-off mode with this scripture running through my veins.
“My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! 18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you.” Psalm 139: 15
I believe, at this time in my life, questioning God and His plans for my life were more than justified. “Ya think?”
I had many questions I wanted Him to answer. “Why me”? “What did I do to deserve this now?” “Why my family”? Needless to say, the biggest question that I faced that day was, “How do I tell this to my children after losing two of the most important people in their lives, now their Mom is faced with a life threatening disease?”
I told my husband, my Mother, and of course, Mary Jo knew, but clearly, we made the decision to spare our three remaining children from any more heartache until we had further details.
I may have jumped off the table and proclaimed who my God is to the doctor, but I simply cannot describe the lack of faith I felt that day. “Do I really want to be here?” I was more than emotionally drained from the losses of our two children, now I was crying for my living children. “How would we all survive this?”
We explored our options for treatment and made the decision to see a physician at UCLA Medical Center. One of the top physicians in the country took my case immediately. He reviewed my scans and said my chances of overcoming this were high, but the battle was going to be along one and not very easy.
To keep this entire year as short as possible, they surgically removed the tumor along with some of the colon and gave me a month to recover. “OMG, Thank you Lord.” I had hope again and believed, He was always in control, and no one had the right to alter, or predict our destinies. “I will live!!!”
During my six-month battle through chemotherapy, on October 10, 2012, my husband, Richard informed me, he was diagnosed with a Squamous Cell Carcinoma. It is the most common type of nasal cavity and Para nasal Sinus Cancer. For the following two-years, Richard battled as best anyone could, with such a horrific cancer. He endured two very invasive surgeries and two six-month rounds of chemotherapy and radiation.
On Thanksgiving Day, November 27, 2014, Richard entered heaven, rejoicing into the arms of Jesus and, I am certain, our children were waiting, with arms open wide.
As for me, well… here I am today… healthy and living as best I can with half of my family in heaven. It has been a battle for sure… but worth being alive… as my youngest son married last year and we now have the blessing of a beautiful 2-month old grandson. Definitely worth surviving for.
God Bless those of you who have conquered this battle and mourn the ones who left us too soon.